It was a summer afternoon. I was sitting in a park feeling particularly discouraged and miserable. I decided to pull out my prayer book that contains written prayers that are woven together with many Bible verses. I started to read out loud one of my favorites: the characteristics of Father God that is in agreement with 1 Corinthians 13:4~8: Father God is patient with me. Father God does not see me as someone He can easily manipulate and control. Father God does not look down at me just to prove how important He is. Father God is slow to get angry with me...
As I was reading it out loud, I noticed a man sitting on the bench next to mine. He was probably in his mid-40 looking like a college frat boy: jeans with holes, muscle shirt, spiky hair, earrings and tattoos. He was listening to what I was reciting.
After I finished reading, I looked at him and I could sense that he wanted to look my way as well. Instead, he got up and walked away. As I watched the back of this man, a sense of painful longing stuck my heart. I felt the Father heart for him. It was probably only a small fraction of God’s longing for the lost, but it was already overwhelming for my tiny heart. Father God’s painful and furious longing for the lost is so unbearably overwhelming, yet at the same time terribly addictive. I guess it is addictive because we are made for God. When we identify ourselves with the love, sorrow, joy, righteous anger of God and die to our own, a part of us becomes alive. It “activates” the eternal life in us and that is to know God and Jesus Christ (John 17:3). My prayer is that I will not be motivated by guilt or pride when I reach out to the lost, but rather by the love and longing of God that drove Himself to send His one and only begotten Son to die for the sins of the world, so that we may be with Him forever and ever.
- Wendy
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